More ficlets...
Aug. 19th, 2018 08:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gildaurel posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
last_herald_mageI'm still working on the second part of Finding Our Way Back. Part of it's written, but other parts don't want to come together so well.
So I finished up something else in the meantime, something that actually could fit into canon-- it's Stefen looking back at the hot springs experience mixed with Vanyel being totally repressed, which I always headcanon he was. That line about Stefen showing Vanyel things he could never have imagined always gets me... I'm like, like what??? What could he not have imagined? He must not have been thinking about much...
Stefen well remembered the first time he’d seen Vanyel shirtless. It had always been a fruitless ploy; knowing Van as he did now, it was scathingly obvious he would never have admitted, much less succumbed to, his attraction in so public a location. But when Medren had suggested the hot springs just outside Haven’s borders in response to Stefen’s endless moans of sexual frustration, he’d found the idea irresistible.
I knew he’d at least have to take his shirt off. It had been maddening, eating dinner with Vanyel, staring at his gods-be-damned flawless face of which I’ve never seen the likes, seeing the muscles ripple under his Whites, yet not really knowing. I was condemned to my right hand and my imagination, so I knew I’d at least get some more accurate material.
Vanyel had been seriously reluctant about going. His face had taken on that nervous-deer expression it did whenever Stefen got too close, and he’d been on the verge of making up some nonsense excuse. He had that down to an art. But Stefen had been a step ahead of him, and had pleaded ignorance to the way, to how hot springs even worked—which was absurd, there’s no manual, you just jump in—and had drawn on his poor orphan boy act to trump Vanyel’s “too busy.”
It had still taken a fortnight to find a day, but when they did—so worth it. First, he’d been treated to the sight of Vanyel riding, which meant he could stare at his fine-boned, delicate hands for a candlemark. I imagined all sorts of possibilities. Upon their arrival at the ivy-bedecked archway leading into a series of pools, Vanyel had pulled Yfandes up short and stopped suddenly, almost dashing Stefen’s hopes. But he’d only muttered something about gawking crowds, his eyes going distant. Looking reassured, Vanyel had dismounted and taken Stefen inside, slipping quietly past a few bathers to reach a hidden back pool.
Stefen had stripped readily, without waiting for Vanyel—but of course, he’d seen me without my shirt—all those supposed bruises he had to treat and what not. He’d noticed Vanyel studiously averting his eyes until he was fully immersed in the water, not making any moves to remove his own clothing. “Won’t you come in?” Stefen had asked him, and Vanyel had swallowed and looked as if he’d asked him to eat his horse.
“I thought this was only for your sore muscles,” Vanyel had finally said, meeting Stefen’s eyes with his own shuttered ones.
“But you were complaining about that ankle again,” Stefen had replied—oh, I did plan well back then. I listened very carefully.
“I..suppose I could get in.” Yet he’d still stood there, frozen, refusing to look anywhere but at Stefen’s face.
After what felt like an eternity, he’d unbelted his tunic and pulled off his shirt to reveal—that fucking masterpiece that I could not believe he was so shy about. Unlike Stefen, whose slim torso boasted little fat or muscle, Vanyel was carved out of marble. From his shoulders to his chest to his impossible washing board of an abdomen, he looked incredible. But I knew even then his shyness stemmed from his… decorations. Running over the perfection had been a myriad of scars, some deeply marring the skin, others obvious reminders of horrific experiences—like those three lines of lightning. Gods, that must have hurt.
Vanyel had clearly seen some of the surprise in Stefen’s gaze and had blushed, fumbling nervously with the shirt still in his hands, mumbling something about the Karsite border. Trying to explain that Vanyel was appealing without blatantly stating how badly he wanted him to take off the pants as well was a challenge, and the end result was that Vanyel bathed in his goddamned breeches.
Now, three weeks since their return to Haven, he stared at Vanyel’s body stretched nude under the sheets, the early morning light dipping in, and wondered at his luck. Vanyel stirred, opened his eyes, and met Stefen’s with unmasked delight. “You’re up before me.”
“I had a dream. Couldn’t stop thinking enough to fall back asleep afterwards.” At Vanyel’s concerned expression, he added, “Good thoughts.”
“Care to share?”
“Oh, I was remembering our trip to the hot springs.”
Vanyel groaned, throwing the pillow over his face. “You would remember that.” He smiled ruefully. “Good thing I always pack spare Whites.”
“I can’t believe you kept your breeches on. I have more of a right to be self-conscious than you do.”
Vanyel shook his head adamantly. “That’s an absurd comment. I had to try very hard not to look, you were so enticing.”
“Were you looking?”
“What do you think?” Sighing at Stefen’s shrug, Vanyel threw off the light sheet and stood to face him. “Of course I was. I even…” He flushed. “Never mind.”
“You even what?” Stefen arched an eyebrow. “Are you implying I wasn’t the only one up late at night with my hand for company?”
“You were? No, I didn’t mean that!” Vanyel looked mortally offended. “I don’t really… I would have felt wrong.”
“You don’t touch yourself? Ever?” Stefen tried and failed to contain the laugh bubbling up inside of him. “That’s ridiculous.”
Drawing the sheet about himself, Vanyel frowned. “I always thought it was an invasion of privacy to—imagine someone else naked.”
“Oh for Haven’s sake, Van, everyone masturbates!” I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with the Firelord. Gods, it still feels odd that he’s mine.
“It feels crude—I would always… stop myself. That’s what I meant, earlier, after the hot springs. I thought about you, a bit, but I didn’t let it go that far.” His cheeks were still bright red and he clutched the edges of the sheet together.
I love it when he gets all flustered. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t have minded. I was imagining you naked,” and Stefen moved closer, nudged Vanyel with a smile.
Vanyel shook his head. “You’re incorrigible.” Then, with surprising shyness, “I hope the reality wasn’t a disappointment.”
His odd little vanities keep springing up. “Far, far from it.” He paused. Do I dare? “I would like to see you touch yourself, though.”
:What?!: Vanyel dropped the sheet, seeming to not even realize he’d slipped into Mindspeech. Underneath, he was nude, and very, very aroused.
Stefen smiled triumphantly. “You like this.” He brushed his hand gently against him. “Being embarrassed.”
“I… no…it’s just…” Vanyel’s body seemed to belie his words and Stefen stroked a bit harder. Gasping, Vanyel attempted to lay a hand on Stefen, which he batted away. Bending down, he pressed a single soft kiss to Vanyel’s erect cock before stepping away.
“Touch yourself.” The hint of a command crept into his voice and Stefen was surprised to feel an intense spike of arousal through their bond.
Vanyel hesitated one last time before complying, laying back onto the bed, the sheet forgotten. His hand was tentative at first, barely touching his cock, but at Stefen’s low gasp and heavy-lidded look, he let himself fall into it, his head dipping back to reveal the long line of neck. Stefen closed his own eyes, feeling Vanyel’s pleasure echo across their bond, and dipped his own hand into his breeches.
When he opened them, Vanyel met his eyes with a heated, glazed expression, his hand moving steadily and more quickly. Never letting his gaze fall, Stefen undid his breeches with one hand while the other continued stroking, the reverberations of pleasure quickening his breath.
He could feel Vanyel coming closer and matched his ecstasy to his lover’s; eyes falling closed again, he gasped out his orgasm as Vanyel muffled his own cries.
Hand falling away, Vanyel lay on the bed, not speaking, not moving. He was a sight. That fucking body I waited too many months to touch, that face utterly relaxed and impossibly lovely, hair mussed, points of red still staining the cheeks…
The silence strained. I hope I haven’t offended him. “Vanyel…”
“That was…incredible.” Vanyel sat up, running a hand through his hair, and favoring him with a small smile. “I suppose I should have tried it sooner.”
You deny yourself the most insane things, lover. “We can do it again whenever you want.” Stefen paused. “You also have my permission to do it without me.” You’re the only human being who would ever think verbal consent to that was necessary.
“Thank you?” Vanyel stood again, taking Stefen into his arms. “But I’d always rather you were here,” he murmured into his ear.
“I hope I never leave,” Stefen replied, and meant it more than he had ever thought he could.
So I finished up something else in the meantime, something that actually could fit into canon-- it's Stefen looking back at the hot springs experience mixed with Vanyel being totally repressed, which I always headcanon he was. That line about Stefen showing Vanyel things he could never have imagined always gets me... I'm like, like what??? What could he not have imagined? He must not have been thinking about much...
Stefen well remembered the first time he’d seen Vanyel shirtless. It had always been a fruitless ploy; knowing Van as he did now, it was scathingly obvious he would never have admitted, much less succumbed to, his attraction in so public a location. But when Medren had suggested the hot springs just outside Haven’s borders in response to Stefen’s endless moans of sexual frustration, he’d found the idea irresistible.
I knew he’d at least have to take his shirt off. It had been maddening, eating dinner with Vanyel, staring at his gods-be-damned flawless face of which I’ve never seen the likes, seeing the muscles ripple under his Whites, yet not really knowing. I was condemned to my right hand and my imagination, so I knew I’d at least get some more accurate material.
Vanyel had been seriously reluctant about going. His face had taken on that nervous-deer expression it did whenever Stefen got too close, and he’d been on the verge of making up some nonsense excuse. He had that down to an art. But Stefen had been a step ahead of him, and had pleaded ignorance to the way, to how hot springs even worked—which was absurd, there’s no manual, you just jump in—and had drawn on his poor orphan boy act to trump Vanyel’s “too busy.”
It had still taken a fortnight to find a day, but when they did—so worth it. First, he’d been treated to the sight of Vanyel riding, which meant he could stare at his fine-boned, delicate hands for a candlemark. I imagined all sorts of possibilities. Upon their arrival at the ivy-bedecked archway leading into a series of pools, Vanyel had pulled Yfandes up short and stopped suddenly, almost dashing Stefen’s hopes. But he’d only muttered something about gawking crowds, his eyes going distant. Looking reassured, Vanyel had dismounted and taken Stefen inside, slipping quietly past a few bathers to reach a hidden back pool.
Stefen had stripped readily, without waiting for Vanyel—but of course, he’d seen me without my shirt—all those supposed bruises he had to treat and what not. He’d noticed Vanyel studiously averting his eyes until he was fully immersed in the water, not making any moves to remove his own clothing. “Won’t you come in?” Stefen had asked him, and Vanyel had swallowed and looked as if he’d asked him to eat his horse.
“I thought this was only for your sore muscles,” Vanyel had finally said, meeting Stefen’s eyes with his own shuttered ones.
“But you were complaining about that ankle again,” Stefen had replied—oh, I did plan well back then. I listened very carefully.
“I..suppose I could get in.” Yet he’d still stood there, frozen, refusing to look anywhere but at Stefen’s face.
After what felt like an eternity, he’d unbelted his tunic and pulled off his shirt to reveal—that fucking masterpiece that I could not believe he was so shy about. Unlike Stefen, whose slim torso boasted little fat or muscle, Vanyel was carved out of marble. From his shoulders to his chest to his impossible washing board of an abdomen, he looked incredible. But I knew even then his shyness stemmed from his… decorations. Running over the perfection had been a myriad of scars, some deeply marring the skin, others obvious reminders of horrific experiences—like those three lines of lightning. Gods, that must have hurt.
Vanyel had clearly seen some of the surprise in Stefen’s gaze and had blushed, fumbling nervously with the shirt still in his hands, mumbling something about the Karsite border. Trying to explain that Vanyel was appealing without blatantly stating how badly he wanted him to take off the pants as well was a challenge, and the end result was that Vanyel bathed in his goddamned breeches.
Now, three weeks since their return to Haven, he stared at Vanyel’s body stretched nude under the sheets, the early morning light dipping in, and wondered at his luck. Vanyel stirred, opened his eyes, and met Stefen’s with unmasked delight. “You’re up before me.”
“I had a dream. Couldn’t stop thinking enough to fall back asleep afterwards.” At Vanyel’s concerned expression, he added, “Good thoughts.”
“Care to share?”
“Oh, I was remembering our trip to the hot springs.”
Vanyel groaned, throwing the pillow over his face. “You would remember that.” He smiled ruefully. “Good thing I always pack spare Whites.”
“I can’t believe you kept your breeches on. I have more of a right to be self-conscious than you do.”
Vanyel shook his head adamantly. “That’s an absurd comment. I had to try very hard not to look, you were so enticing.”
“Were you looking?”
“What do you think?” Sighing at Stefen’s shrug, Vanyel threw off the light sheet and stood to face him. “Of course I was. I even…” He flushed. “Never mind.”
“You even what?” Stefen arched an eyebrow. “Are you implying I wasn’t the only one up late at night with my hand for company?”
“You were? No, I didn’t mean that!” Vanyel looked mortally offended. “I don’t really… I would have felt wrong.”
“You don’t touch yourself? Ever?” Stefen tried and failed to contain the laugh bubbling up inside of him. “That’s ridiculous.”
Drawing the sheet about himself, Vanyel frowned. “I always thought it was an invasion of privacy to—imagine someone else naked.”
“Oh for Haven’s sake, Van, everyone masturbates!” I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with the Firelord. Gods, it still feels odd that he’s mine.
“It feels crude—I would always… stop myself. That’s what I meant, earlier, after the hot springs. I thought about you, a bit, but I didn’t let it go that far.” His cheeks were still bright red and he clutched the edges of the sheet together.
I love it when he gets all flustered. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t have minded. I was imagining you naked,” and Stefen moved closer, nudged Vanyel with a smile.
Vanyel shook his head. “You’re incorrigible.” Then, with surprising shyness, “I hope the reality wasn’t a disappointment.”
His odd little vanities keep springing up. “Far, far from it.” He paused. Do I dare? “I would like to see you touch yourself, though.”
:What?!: Vanyel dropped the sheet, seeming to not even realize he’d slipped into Mindspeech. Underneath, he was nude, and very, very aroused.
Stefen smiled triumphantly. “You like this.” He brushed his hand gently against him. “Being embarrassed.”
“I… no…it’s just…” Vanyel’s body seemed to belie his words and Stefen stroked a bit harder. Gasping, Vanyel attempted to lay a hand on Stefen, which he batted away. Bending down, he pressed a single soft kiss to Vanyel’s erect cock before stepping away.
“Touch yourself.” The hint of a command crept into his voice and Stefen was surprised to feel an intense spike of arousal through their bond.
Vanyel hesitated one last time before complying, laying back onto the bed, the sheet forgotten. His hand was tentative at first, barely touching his cock, but at Stefen’s low gasp and heavy-lidded look, he let himself fall into it, his head dipping back to reveal the long line of neck. Stefen closed his own eyes, feeling Vanyel’s pleasure echo across their bond, and dipped his own hand into his breeches.
When he opened them, Vanyel met his eyes with a heated, glazed expression, his hand moving steadily and more quickly. Never letting his gaze fall, Stefen undid his breeches with one hand while the other continued stroking, the reverberations of pleasure quickening his breath.
He could feel Vanyel coming closer and matched his ecstasy to his lover’s; eyes falling closed again, he gasped out his orgasm as Vanyel muffled his own cries.
Hand falling away, Vanyel lay on the bed, not speaking, not moving. He was a sight. That fucking body I waited too many months to touch, that face utterly relaxed and impossibly lovely, hair mussed, points of red still staining the cheeks…
The silence strained. I hope I haven’t offended him. “Vanyel…”
“That was…incredible.” Vanyel sat up, running a hand through his hair, and favoring him with a small smile. “I suppose I should have tried it sooner.”
You deny yourself the most insane things, lover. “We can do it again whenever you want.” Stefen paused. “You also have my permission to do it without me.” You’re the only human being who would ever think verbal consent to that was necessary.
“Thank you?” Vanyel stood again, taking Stefen into his arms. “But I’d always rather you were here,” he murmured into his ear.
“I hope I never leave,” Stefen replied, and meant it more than he had ever thought he could.
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Date: 2018-08-22 12:24 pm (UTC)headcanons: Yes Van can feel weird jerking off about people, except Tantras who has probably guessed and definitely deserves it, and Lendel, but then half the time he feels other kinds of awful about that.
That line in canon has always nagged at me too - I do have one theory that I was trying to work into a fic (it's that Stef is really really good at analingus, sorry).
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Date: 2018-08-23 11:28 am (UTC)I know, in retrospect, I feel like I should clarify that it's not that he NEVER jerks off, but just is very selective about who he imagines, ha. I imagined this as sort of a sequel to my cold water pitcher fic-- I should call it "writing missing scenes where Vanyel is excessively and absurdly prudish, beyond what canon already indicates."
Tantras deserves all the jerking off to, all the time.
Please, please, please write that fic, post that fic, that is so clearly the only true interpretation of that line.
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Date: 2018-08-24 12:30 pm (UTC)I am trying, I swear. Having a busy summer here & trying to corral my brain again.
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Date: 2018-08-24 01:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-08-24 03:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-08-25 10:06 pm (UTC)