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last_herald_mageI DID NOT WRITE THESE. I am aware that reposting fics without the author's permission is very frowned upon, but I think this is a special case. These were apparently written before FF.N existed (or the author was just averse to FF.N for some reason, or else was just ignorant on how to post stuff to the internet, I have no idea). They are a couple of Word.docs that were uploaded directly to the internet via geocities (geocities!). No author name, no date, no email address, nothing.
The first one is silly-cute Van/Lendel, the second one is sweet Van/Stef (that fades to black instead of giving us porn, sob).
(also check the updated recs post~)
“Fancy,” Tylendel said, glancing at Vanyel before dunking his face into the water he held in cupped hands, leaning over the washing bowl. He reached for a towel to dry off his face, then began idly fiddling with it while watching Vanyel.
“Think so?” Vanyel asked, turning away from the mirror to face his lover. He looked down at what he was wearing. Royal blue with silver stitches, Tylendel figured it to be made out of very expensive and new material. Vanyel looked quite striking in it.
Vanyel looked back up at ‘Lendel worriedly. “Too fancy?”
Tylendel put the towel down and gave Van a thoughtful look-over. “No,” he finally answered. “Not too fancy. You look nice; it suits you.” He paused, puzzled, “But why wear it today? You aren’t going any where, both of us are free today, so whose to impressed?” ‘Lendel grinned suddenly. “No one to impress except me, of course.”
Vanyel smiled in return and shrugged. “I was only trying it on,” he explained. “I got the tunic the other day and figured I could wear it with bits and pieces of other matching outfits. I’m not going to wear it for the rest of the day, only now to see how it looks.”
“Peacock,” Tylendel called him, chuckling. He dipped his fingers into the bowl of water and flicked them at Vanyel.
“Hey!” Van cried, rapidly brushing the droplets of his clothing. “There is no telling what will stain this!”
Tylendel regarded his lover with amused eyes, one eyebrow raised and his hands on his hips. “Really, Van, water staining? How do you suppose they would wash things if water, of all things, stained?”
“Firstly,” Vanyel said, putting his own hands on his hips and drawing himself up to his full height, “You do not get these dirty.” He paused while giving an extra brush to his tunic and deflating a little, mumbling, “Secondly, I wouldn’t know because I’ve never washed, nor saw anyone else wash any clothing.”
Now Tylendel began to laugh. “Pampered Peacock!” he managed to get out.
“Am not!” Vanyel said, indignantly, but with a bit of amusement. He dipped his own, cupped hand into the bowl of water and flinging a great bit more water at Tylendel than ‘Lendel had thrown at him. “Now, I am going to change,” Vanyel said rapidly, hurrying behind the seldom used changing screen before Tylendel could get his revenge.
But Tylendel was not going to give up that easily. He picked up the pitcher three fourths full with water and strategically positioned himself so that when the unexpecting Vanyel came from behind the screen, he’d be ready.
Everything went according to plan and when Van emerged wearing an old and worn tunic, he found one fourth of cool water from a now half way full pitcher on his head and rapidly running down to wet other parts of his body. At first, Van was too shocked to do anything but stand there. Then he reacted by snatching the pitcher out of the hands of Tylendel, who was too busy laughing to realize Van might make a comeback, and dumped half of the rest of the water right back on Tylendel’s head.
Tylendel started laughing harder and then, realizing Van still had the pitcher of water, ran out the door. Thinking fast, he headed to Savil’s room.
* * *
Vanyel cautiously walked through the door to the common room with the pitcher still tightly in his hand, and swept the room with his eyes.
Mardic and Donnie were sitting on the couch, their books they were reading lay momentarily forgotten in their laps and both were looking curiously towards Savil’s room where Vanyel could hear both Savil and Tylendel’s voice.
“’Lendel!” Savil said in startled voice. “What…Where…What are you doing!?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll bring it back. Thanks,” ‘Lendel blurted out.
Vanyel, curious, laid the pitcher down on the table in front of the “Lovebirds,” who looked at him questionably, obviously wondering why he was wet, and started edging towards the door when Tylendel, holding Savil’s water pitcher in both hands, burst out the door. He made a sharp turn, apparently headed toward his and Vanyel’s room only to skid to a halt to avoid colliding with a startled Vanyel.
Van, quickly recovering and knowing exactly what his lover intended to do with the water in Savil’s pitcher, made a hasty retreat, swiftly walking, then trotting to the other side of the couch when ‘Lendel recovered and came after him.
They were engaged in shadowboxing around the couch with Vanyel facing the back and ‘Lendel facing the grinning Lovebirds when Savil stormed in the room and took immediate charge.
“What is going on in here!?” she said sternly, glaring at her protégé and her nephew.
“Give me that,” she ordered, holding her hand out towards Tylendel.
Tylendel wordlessly turned over his weapon and took grate interest in the patterns of the wooden floor while Vanyel suddenly felt a strong urge to look at a corner of to his right. A sudden splash and a startled gasp made him quickly look up at his grinning aunt and his now thoroughly soaked lover. Vanyel put his hand over his mouth to hide his grin while Mardic and Donnie were laughing helplessly and Tylendel was glaring indignantly at Savil.
“Now,” Savil said, placing the now empty pitcher on the table. “From the way you two looked, I imagine there are other puddles of water on the floor as well as this one. I expect this and any others to be cleaned up immediately. Understood?”
“Yes, Aunt Savil,” Vanyel answered for both himself and his still sulking lover. “Right away.”
“Wont it just dry eventually if we leave it alone?” Vanyel asked Tylendel in an exasperated tone. He was not enjoying being on hands and knees mopping up water with towels while still wearing wet clothes because Savil made them take care of the floor before themselves.
“I imagine so,” ‘Lendel answered, kneeling beside Vanyel. “But I wouldn’t recommend it. The water will sink into the wood and it would end up being discolored and possibly smelly. Savil wouldn’t like that.”
Vanyel thought about that for a moment, then grinned. “Ah-ha,” he cried triumphantly. Tylendel looked at him inquiringly. Vanyel gave him an arrogant smile, wanting to, in some way, get a kind of last word in all this. “So, I was right. Water does stain.” Tylendel looked at Vanyel blankly for a moment then hung his head and started laughing uncontrollably.
After a few moments Tylendel sat back on his haunches and wiped his eyes, still chuckling. He looked over at Vanyel, who had his arms crossed over his chest and was looking at Tylendel accusingly. “You weren’t supposed to laugh,” he mumbled, feeling that, through laughter, Tylendel hand stolen the last word that he thought was rightfully his.
Tylendel started laughing all over again and suddenly pulled Vanyel into a one armed embrace, ruffling Van’s hair fondly with his other hand. “Oh, Van, you’re the absolute light of my life, did you know that?”
Vanyel smiled back. “Of course,” he answered, his hand going unnoticed behind his back to pick up something bunched up and very wet. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he paused, slowly moving his still unnoticed hand above Tylendel’s head. Once it was where he wanted it, he squeezed the water out of the towel and directly on Tylendel’s head. “But I still do have to have the last word,” he said, grinning at his, once again shocked and wet lover. “I’m so sure you understand.”
www.geocities.ws/shinigaminoda/WATERF.DOC
“Stef,” Vanyel said, fastening his belt on over his tunic. He picked up his boots and sat on the side of the bed to pull them on. Stefen mumbled something, only half awake and waved his hand as if to emphasize some point he had just made.
“Stef,” Van repeated, looking at the bard with amusement. He moved around to touch Stefen’s cheek. “Wake up.”
Stefen yawned and stretched then finally opened his eyes with a small smile. “I’m awake, I’m awake!” he mumbled, like he did every morning when Vanyel woke him.
On there first mornings together, Vanyel originally didn’t wake Stefen up, not wanting the bard to miss out on any needed sleep. But, after a few times of Stefen waking up and not having the faintest idea were the herald had gone to or when he left, the bard had firmly insisted that Van wake him before he disappeared. Stefen had assured him over and over that, if he wanted, he could easily fall back asleep once awake. From then on, they had pretty much settled on a morning routine. Van woke with the sun, got ready for the day and woke Stefen before he left for a “good morning and have a good day” kiss. Though, depending on how much sleep the bard had gotten, Vanyel was the one doing the wishings of “good morning and have a good day,” while Stef murmured some sort of answer that Vanyel never could make out.
“I’m leaving,” Van said softly, bending down to give a light kiss. Well, it was supposed to be a light kiss, but apparently it was one morning that Stefen had gotten enough sleep to actually be alert. The next thing Vanyel knew, Stefen had gone from laying to sitting up, Van’s hands were cupping the bard’s face, Stef’s arms were wrapped around his waist, and the small, innocent kiss had turned into a deeply passionate one.
“Do you have to go?” Stef asked breathlessly when they broke apart, his eyes filled with passionate love.
Vanyel was about to reply with his usual “yes, you know I have to” line when Yfandes’ mindvoice flooded into his head. :Yes, I agree. Do you have to? Nothing important is happening today,: she continued before he could interrupt. :They can easily reach you with any problems, if need be and you are in desperate need of a break before you fall on your nose.: He Sensed the sudden amusement coming with her next words. :Besides, Stefen wants you to.:
:’Fandes,: Vanyel said, exasperated. :You know I can’t do that! I have to be there. They need me to be there.:
:Horseturds!: she exclaimed. :They do not today. And they need to learn to function without you anyway and so do you!:
:But—,: Vanyel tried to come up with a defense. :But—I can’t!:
:I’m not taking “no” for an answer,: She said firmly. :Contact Joshe and see if they can spare you today. His Companion thinks so.:
:No, Yfandes, I will—: he started to say, trying to be forceful, when she abruptly severed the link and he ground his teeth in frustration.
“Oh, why do I even bother to ask,” Stef was saying. “When I already know the answer? Have a good as possible day and I’ll see you latter on.” Stef gave him a swift kiss took his arms from around Van’s waist and pulled back away from the herald.
“Hold on a moment,” Van told him, ignoring the bard’s confused look as he Felt Joshe’s mind reaching out to contact his.
:Joshe?:
:Vanyel,: Joshe greeted him.
:Is there something wrong?: He asked quickly, tensing.
:Yes, as a matter of fact there is. I was just informed that you were “about to fall flat on you’re nose.” Why don’t you take the suggestion of your Companion and take the day off.:
:Joshe, I’m not—:
:Yes, you are,: Joshe interrupted.
:Joshe—: Van protested.
:I’m putting my foot down on this one, Van, and I’m telling—no ordering—you to take today off and get some rest. You know that I will call if I need you.:
Vanyel heaved a huge sign. :All right, friend,: He agreed, suddenly too tiered to resist anymore. :But you will tell me if anything important comes up that I need to know about, right?:
:Assuredly.:
:Thank you.:
:Just get some rest,: Joshe said, releasing contact.
Vanyel immediately contacted Yfandes. :You scheming little bitch,: he accused, with a hint of mirth.
:Yes, dear, I know,: she agreed sweetly. :Why don’t you tell Stefen the good news?: She chuckled, then faded from his mind.
“Well,” Van said, looking at Stefen. “It seems as though I’m a free man today.”
“What?” Stefen asked, completely bewildered.
“I was just talking to Joshe and he ordered me to take today off and get rest. He’s in on a conspiracy with ‘Fandes against me. They just won.”
The loving passion that was still in Stef’s eyes was replaced by loving concern. “You really should rest today. Go back to sleep.” Stefen reached up and brushed Van’s hair away from his eyes. “You have bruises under your eyes, ashke, and you look tired, as usual.” He took on a stern, no nonsense look. “I want you to get back in this bed and get your rest and I want those circles under your eyes gone by tomorrow morning. Understood?”
Vanyel chuckled. “I understand, Mother Hen,” he said, taking off his boots, belt, and tunic then sat down on the bed beside Stefen. “But how am I ever going to fall asleep after I’ve been awake long enough to have a good amount of energy in me?” He gave Stefen mischievous grin and batted his eyelashes coyly at his lover.
Stefen laughed. “I think I can be of some useful help in that area,” Stef said, the passion rapidly returning to his eyes and pounced.
www.geocities.ws/shinigaminoda/mornrutine.doc
The first one is silly-cute Van/Lendel, the second one is sweet Van/Stef (that fades to black instead of giving us porn, sob).
(also check the updated recs post~)
“Fancy,” Tylendel said, glancing at Vanyel before dunking his face into the water he held in cupped hands, leaning over the washing bowl. He reached for a towel to dry off his face, then began idly fiddling with it while watching Vanyel.
“Think so?” Vanyel asked, turning away from the mirror to face his lover. He looked down at what he was wearing. Royal blue with silver stitches, Tylendel figured it to be made out of very expensive and new material. Vanyel looked quite striking in it.
Vanyel looked back up at ‘Lendel worriedly. “Too fancy?”
Tylendel put the towel down and gave Van a thoughtful look-over. “No,” he finally answered. “Not too fancy. You look nice; it suits you.” He paused, puzzled, “But why wear it today? You aren’t going any where, both of us are free today, so whose to impressed?” ‘Lendel grinned suddenly. “No one to impress except me, of course.”
Vanyel smiled in return and shrugged. “I was only trying it on,” he explained. “I got the tunic the other day and figured I could wear it with bits and pieces of other matching outfits. I’m not going to wear it for the rest of the day, only now to see how it looks.”
“Peacock,” Tylendel called him, chuckling. He dipped his fingers into the bowl of water and flicked them at Vanyel.
“Hey!” Van cried, rapidly brushing the droplets of his clothing. “There is no telling what will stain this!”
Tylendel regarded his lover with amused eyes, one eyebrow raised and his hands on his hips. “Really, Van, water staining? How do you suppose they would wash things if water, of all things, stained?”
“Firstly,” Vanyel said, putting his own hands on his hips and drawing himself up to his full height, “You do not get these dirty.” He paused while giving an extra brush to his tunic and deflating a little, mumbling, “Secondly, I wouldn’t know because I’ve never washed, nor saw anyone else wash any clothing.”
Now Tylendel began to laugh. “Pampered Peacock!” he managed to get out.
“Am not!” Vanyel said, indignantly, but with a bit of amusement. He dipped his own, cupped hand into the bowl of water and flinging a great bit more water at Tylendel than ‘Lendel had thrown at him. “Now, I am going to change,” Vanyel said rapidly, hurrying behind the seldom used changing screen before Tylendel could get his revenge.
But Tylendel was not going to give up that easily. He picked up the pitcher three fourths full with water and strategically positioned himself so that when the unexpecting Vanyel came from behind the screen, he’d be ready.
Everything went according to plan and when Van emerged wearing an old and worn tunic, he found one fourth of cool water from a now half way full pitcher on his head and rapidly running down to wet other parts of his body. At first, Van was too shocked to do anything but stand there. Then he reacted by snatching the pitcher out of the hands of Tylendel, who was too busy laughing to realize Van might make a comeback, and dumped half of the rest of the water right back on Tylendel’s head.
Tylendel started laughing harder and then, realizing Van still had the pitcher of water, ran out the door. Thinking fast, he headed to Savil’s room.
* * *
Vanyel cautiously walked through the door to the common room with the pitcher still tightly in his hand, and swept the room with his eyes.
Mardic and Donnie were sitting on the couch, their books they were reading lay momentarily forgotten in their laps and both were looking curiously towards Savil’s room where Vanyel could hear both Savil and Tylendel’s voice.
“’Lendel!” Savil said in startled voice. “What…Where…What are you doing!?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll bring it back. Thanks,” ‘Lendel blurted out.
Vanyel, curious, laid the pitcher down on the table in front of the “Lovebirds,” who looked at him questionably, obviously wondering why he was wet, and started edging towards the door when Tylendel, holding Savil’s water pitcher in both hands, burst out the door. He made a sharp turn, apparently headed toward his and Vanyel’s room only to skid to a halt to avoid colliding with a startled Vanyel.
Van, quickly recovering and knowing exactly what his lover intended to do with the water in Savil’s pitcher, made a hasty retreat, swiftly walking, then trotting to the other side of the couch when ‘Lendel recovered and came after him.
They were engaged in shadowboxing around the couch with Vanyel facing the back and ‘Lendel facing the grinning Lovebirds when Savil stormed in the room and took immediate charge.
“What is going on in here!?” she said sternly, glaring at her protégé and her nephew.
“Give me that,” she ordered, holding her hand out towards Tylendel.
Tylendel wordlessly turned over his weapon and took grate interest in the patterns of the wooden floor while Vanyel suddenly felt a strong urge to look at a corner of to his right. A sudden splash and a startled gasp made him quickly look up at his grinning aunt and his now thoroughly soaked lover. Vanyel put his hand over his mouth to hide his grin while Mardic and Donnie were laughing helplessly and Tylendel was glaring indignantly at Savil.
“Now,” Savil said, placing the now empty pitcher on the table. “From the way you two looked, I imagine there are other puddles of water on the floor as well as this one. I expect this and any others to be cleaned up immediately. Understood?”
“Yes, Aunt Savil,” Vanyel answered for both himself and his still sulking lover. “Right away.”
“Wont it just dry eventually if we leave it alone?” Vanyel asked Tylendel in an exasperated tone. He was not enjoying being on hands and knees mopping up water with towels while still wearing wet clothes because Savil made them take care of the floor before themselves.
“I imagine so,” ‘Lendel answered, kneeling beside Vanyel. “But I wouldn’t recommend it. The water will sink into the wood and it would end up being discolored and possibly smelly. Savil wouldn’t like that.”
Vanyel thought about that for a moment, then grinned. “Ah-ha,” he cried triumphantly. Tylendel looked at him inquiringly. Vanyel gave him an arrogant smile, wanting to, in some way, get a kind of last word in all this. “So, I was right. Water does stain.” Tylendel looked at Vanyel blankly for a moment then hung his head and started laughing uncontrollably.
After a few moments Tylendel sat back on his haunches and wiped his eyes, still chuckling. He looked over at Vanyel, who had his arms crossed over his chest and was looking at Tylendel accusingly. “You weren’t supposed to laugh,” he mumbled, feeling that, through laughter, Tylendel hand stolen the last word that he thought was rightfully his.
Tylendel started laughing all over again and suddenly pulled Vanyel into a one armed embrace, ruffling Van’s hair fondly with his other hand. “Oh, Van, you’re the absolute light of my life, did you know that?”
Vanyel smiled back. “Of course,” he answered, his hand going unnoticed behind his back to pick up something bunched up and very wet. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he paused, slowly moving his still unnoticed hand above Tylendel’s head. Once it was where he wanted it, he squeezed the water out of the towel and directly on Tylendel’s head. “But I still do have to have the last word,” he said, grinning at his, once again shocked and wet lover. “I’m so sure you understand.”
www.geocities.ws/shinigaminoda/WATERF.DOC
“Stef,” Vanyel said, fastening his belt on over his tunic. He picked up his boots and sat on the side of the bed to pull them on. Stefen mumbled something, only half awake and waved his hand as if to emphasize some point he had just made.
“Stef,” Van repeated, looking at the bard with amusement. He moved around to touch Stefen’s cheek. “Wake up.”
Stefen yawned and stretched then finally opened his eyes with a small smile. “I’m awake, I’m awake!” he mumbled, like he did every morning when Vanyel woke him.
On there first mornings together, Vanyel originally didn’t wake Stefen up, not wanting the bard to miss out on any needed sleep. But, after a few times of Stefen waking up and not having the faintest idea were the herald had gone to or when he left, the bard had firmly insisted that Van wake him before he disappeared. Stefen had assured him over and over that, if he wanted, he could easily fall back asleep once awake. From then on, they had pretty much settled on a morning routine. Van woke with the sun, got ready for the day and woke Stefen before he left for a “good morning and have a good day” kiss. Though, depending on how much sleep the bard had gotten, Vanyel was the one doing the wishings of “good morning and have a good day,” while Stef murmured some sort of answer that Vanyel never could make out.
“I’m leaving,” Van said softly, bending down to give a light kiss. Well, it was supposed to be a light kiss, but apparently it was one morning that Stefen had gotten enough sleep to actually be alert. The next thing Vanyel knew, Stefen had gone from laying to sitting up, Van’s hands were cupping the bard’s face, Stef’s arms were wrapped around his waist, and the small, innocent kiss had turned into a deeply passionate one.
“Do you have to go?” Stef asked breathlessly when they broke apart, his eyes filled with passionate love.
Vanyel was about to reply with his usual “yes, you know I have to” line when Yfandes’ mindvoice flooded into his head. :Yes, I agree. Do you have to? Nothing important is happening today,: she continued before he could interrupt. :They can easily reach you with any problems, if need be and you are in desperate need of a break before you fall on your nose.: He Sensed the sudden amusement coming with her next words. :Besides, Stefen wants you to.:
:’Fandes,: Vanyel said, exasperated. :You know I can’t do that! I have to be there. They need me to be there.:
:Horseturds!: she exclaimed. :They do not today. And they need to learn to function without you anyway and so do you!:
:But—,: Vanyel tried to come up with a defense. :But—I can’t!:
:I’m not taking “no” for an answer,: She said firmly. :Contact Joshe and see if they can spare you today. His Companion thinks so.:
:No, Yfandes, I will—: he started to say, trying to be forceful, when she abruptly severed the link and he ground his teeth in frustration.
“Oh, why do I even bother to ask,” Stef was saying. “When I already know the answer? Have a good as possible day and I’ll see you latter on.” Stef gave him a swift kiss took his arms from around Van’s waist and pulled back away from the herald.
“Hold on a moment,” Van told him, ignoring the bard’s confused look as he Felt Joshe’s mind reaching out to contact his.
:Joshe?:
:Vanyel,: Joshe greeted him.
:Is there something wrong?: He asked quickly, tensing.
:Yes, as a matter of fact there is. I was just informed that you were “about to fall flat on you’re nose.” Why don’t you take the suggestion of your Companion and take the day off.:
:Joshe, I’m not—:
:Yes, you are,: Joshe interrupted.
:Joshe—: Van protested.
:I’m putting my foot down on this one, Van, and I’m telling—no ordering—you to take today off and get some rest. You know that I will call if I need you.:
Vanyel heaved a huge sign. :All right, friend,: He agreed, suddenly too tiered to resist anymore. :But you will tell me if anything important comes up that I need to know about, right?:
:Assuredly.:
:Thank you.:
:Just get some rest,: Joshe said, releasing contact.
Vanyel immediately contacted Yfandes. :You scheming little bitch,: he accused, with a hint of mirth.
:Yes, dear, I know,: she agreed sweetly. :Why don’t you tell Stefen the good news?: She chuckled, then faded from his mind.
“Well,” Van said, looking at Stefen. “It seems as though I’m a free man today.”
“What?” Stefen asked, completely bewildered.
“I was just talking to Joshe and he ordered me to take today off and get rest. He’s in on a conspiracy with ‘Fandes against me. They just won.”
The loving passion that was still in Stef’s eyes was replaced by loving concern. “You really should rest today. Go back to sleep.” Stefen reached up and brushed Van’s hair away from his eyes. “You have bruises under your eyes, ashke, and you look tired, as usual.” He took on a stern, no nonsense look. “I want you to get back in this bed and get your rest and I want those circles under your eyes gone by tomorrow morning. Understood?”
Vanyel chuckled. “I understand, Mother Hen,” he said, taking off his boots, belt, and tunic then sat down on the bed beside Stefen. “But how am I ever going to fall asleep after I’ve been awake long enough to have a good amount of energy in me?” He gave Stefen mischievous grin and batted his eyelashes coyly at his lover.
Stefen laughed. “I think I can be of some useful help in that area,” Stef said, the passion rapidly returning to his eyes and pounced.
www.geocities.ws/shinigaminoda/mornrutine.doc
no subject
Date: 2012-12-17 09:13 pm (UTC)I did a quick googledredge and I am pretty sure I've found the author;
I also found the whole Geocity index and there's TWO MORE FICS THERE; www.geocities.ws/shinigaminoda/HomeAtHaven.doc (Van/Stef, trolling Medren) and www.geocities.ws/shinigaminoda/Moondanceskiss.doc (Stef being jealous of Van's closeness with Moondance - very short, feels unfinished). I didn't spot anything else that was relevant to our interests, and I'm not going to link the index because she has personal things stashed there too :/
no subject
Date: 2012-12-17 10:08 pm (UTC)NO FAIRbecause I have had the bad awful sick that just won't go away, and when I feel like crap I spend an embarassing amount of time googling the lhm ._. (I found some badfic gems too, the kind that I read the shit out of and lol at every other sentence. One of them is AMAZINGLY HILARIOUSLY TERRIBLE Vanyel/Jonne porn.) So uh, yeah, I finally managed to drag my carcass to the library so I could share.no subject
Date: 2012-12-17 10:48 pm (UTC)Get better pls <3
Ngl I've sometimes wondered about diving for LHM stuff from the YahooML era of fandom - shortly after the Great Purge of 2002, someone started a group for writing HoV porn (not LHM specifically), but I never finished the OC fic I started for that and AFAIK nothing ever came of the whole thing. Which may be a pity, because I just googled the name of the mod and dug up some very, very dirty Firefly BDSM; I can't be certain it's the same person, but sure seems like. sigh.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-18 06:20 pm (UTC)BUT BUT SOME BADFIC IS FUN TO READ! Although I wish there was an easy way to tell what's amusing and what's second hand embarrassing, but whatever. HAHA I ALSO FOUND VANYEL/KREBAIN THAT IS AWESOMELY BAD AND ALSO SOME TORRID VAN/STEF, I HAVEN'T SEEN PORN EUPHAMISMS LIKE THESE OUTSIDE OF LATE 90S HARLEQUIN NOVELS, LOL. READ IT. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
I think that first cold I caught last month turned into bronchitis and ugh, this cough please go away already. :(
ahahaha, I read that and kept thinking, oh god please be Inara please be Inara, be anybody but Jayne don't be Jayne NO DON'T BE JAYNE eeewwww Jayne peen. lol
no subject
Date: 2012-12-18 07:15 pm (UTC)ahahahaa oh Jayne. I felt the same way except I just knew it was Jayne. >< tch, no one ever writes me any Saffron/River anyway. (oh come on! Saffron and the one person she can't fool? It's meant to be.)
I remember there used to be some Van/Krebain on the Pit upwards of ten years ago, and I think I found it more dull than awful. /notes that this is filed under 'celebrities', dude you cannot do this unless you're Talia... Seriously i can't believe there's LHM fic on Literotica, although I did once read some hot-but-OOC Metal Gear femslash there that wasn't even filed as fanfic, which I never told anyone else in the fandom about because, erm, randomly finding semi-goodfic while browsing Literotica? let's not admit that. ANYWAY from now on i am picturing you as Lara Croft, going into dark structural crannies and shooting dinosaurs to get at the porn. Because there is never enough porn.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-18 07:31 pm (UTC)The thing that stuck out at me with the Van/Krebain, was this scene where Krebain is trying to be SUPER IMPRESSIVE EVIL MAGE and his cook served shepard's pie for dinner (C- for effort, at least it wasn't stew or bread and cheese?)
The best part is the part where he repoasted like half the books for reference...lol (I FOUND IT ON A GOOGLE SEARCH OKAY) Also I feel slightly better about my obsession, because while I am completely cray I do still realize that Van and Stef are not real people, loooooool.
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Date: 2012-12-18 10:04 pm (UTC)KAT IS EVERY BADPORN AN OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO BE A FOOD SNOB, IS IT NOW.
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Date: 2012-12-19 05:41 pm (UTC)WHAT THE FUCK IS SHEPHERD'S PIE EVEN. HOW CAN IT BE A PIE, IT HASN'T GOT A CRUST. IF I WAS AN EVIL MAGE AND I WAS ATTEMPTING TO LURE A HOT PIECE OF ASS OVER TO THE DARK SIDE, I'D FEED HIM A REAL GODDAMN PIE, IS ALL I'M SAYING.
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Date: 2012-12-19 07:36 pm (UTC)KAT I WOULD SAY YOU WERE DENIGRATING MY CULTURE BUT NO SHIT, COULDN'T HE AT LEAST HAVE COME UP WITH A REAL LANCASHIRE HOTPOT OR SOMETHING? AT ANY RATE THESE EVIL MAGES WOULD DO WELL TO CONSULT YOU REGARDING THEIR TEMPTATION OPTIONS. I HOPE YOUR CONSULTING RATE IS SUITABLY HIGH. I ALWAYS FELT THAT THERE ARE JUST SOME VILLAIN TACTICAL ERRORS THAT ARE SIMPLY UNFORGIVABLE - LIKE, THE STORY ABOUT THE GRETSHKE-SWARM IN VOL 2, WHY DID THE KARSITES EVEN HIRE A CRAZY MAGE TO DO A JOB THAT A HALF-DOZEN NINJAS COULD HAVE DONE JUST FINE?
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Date: 2012-12-19 08:30 pm (UTC)I NEVER SAID SHEPHERD'S PIE WAS BAD (ALTHOUGH I HAVE NOT EATEN IT SO HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW, I NEVER EVEN KNEW IT EXISTED UNTIL A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, ALL OF A SUDDEN NOW EVERYWHERE IS LIKE ZOMG SHEPHERD'S PIE, WTF IS THIS TREND.)
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Date: 2012-12-21 06:59 am (UTC)If I ever run a D&D campaign again, 'Divine Slime' can be a monster type. It will be lavender, and it will smell of patchouli.
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Date: 2021-03-04 09:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-11-22 06:48 am (UTC)"Van ached for the Bard's beautiful instrument to fulfill its purpose and play him high and low, till their joint music of physical love reached the final crescendo"
I. Am. Dying!! (Pro-tip, don't read this where your partners can hear you laughing lest they ask what is so funny)